Lucid Walk
by Aevium
Summary: When you take the Lucid Walk, you'll either be satisfied or you will be changed; illuminated by desires so far buried it's a miracle that the light breaches past. But one thing is guaranteed: the lights of the forest always shine through and there is nothing to prepare Sanji for what he sees. ZoSan, rated M for some explicit bits!


**AN:** For kumiko-sama-chan's Christmas exchange. I hope it's okay, it's very rushed and not edited enough. Point out any typos for me and I'll fix them right away.

Takes place after Enies Lobby.

**Lucid Walk**

"_They don't give you fantasies..."_

These words, despite having been spoken to him by a lovely lady, crumbled Sanji's very existence as he shakily stood, shoes crunching in the snow. He placed a gloved hand to the trunk of the tree by which he had just spent the last... he didn't even know how long. Had it been minutes? Hours?

"Shit..."

He put his hand to his forehead and closed every feature, silently roaring with anger and confusion. When he opened his eyes, he saw rays of golden light, still dancing on trees and snow. He turned his gaze upwards and watched as that strange phenomenon of glowing orbs ambled about the forest, drifting, seeking. Searching for someone new.

They were maddeningly beautiful. Maddeningly so because they had left him with something torturous. He didn't know whether to hate them or admire their beauty.

But he felt as though he were still glowing with the images of their light as he took a step forward. Reality felt surreal. With each step forward, his feelings of shame and embarrassment intensified as he remembered that his crew was just in town.

What the fuck had he just seen? In what dimension could he and the shitty swordsman ever... _ever..._

"_They give you what you want. Always."_

"I don't fucking want that," he denied, speaking back in time to the beautiful woman, mouth snarling with rage. "I don't fucking want that..." he echoed more quietly, more desperately.

**. . . . . .**

The sun was already setting and the sky blackened with frigidly grey clouds when the Straw Hats arrived on the winter island. They had simply docked for supplies at first, but it was hard to miss how active the port town was. The citizens were celebrating something and even though their captain was oblivious as to what all the hoopla was about, Luffy was determined to stay and party with them.

The streets were alight with green, white and red lights streaming across posts and fences. The architecture of the town was altogether more elaborate than they were used to seeing. Bridges and buildings were practically encumbered with gaudy details; there was a trend of spindly arches and dotted carvings. Despite the fact that it was overdone, it was quite beautiful and it blended into the wintry atmosphere seamlessly; the overloaded pattern of arches reminiscent of drooping icicles.

Sanji was the only one to catch on to what they might be celebrating and he was honestly dumbstruck that he was encountering it. Back on North Blue, he had memories of this jovial holiday. But it was a religious celebration, something he thought was restricted to the north, and so discovering this—albeit with notable differences—was really pretty exciting.

Surprisingly the crew was welcomed in with open arms. Perhaps they had stumbled in on a day where identity meant nothing. Pirate or marine or simple sailor, everyone was guided into this bizarre little town with equal conviviality.

And guided in they were, straight into a pub where mugs of froth-topped beer were shoved into enthralled hands—and hooves—and their ears were entertained by carols sung by rosy-cheeked maidens. Zoro stayed by the bar with Nami, while Sanji obviously stuck by the singing women he'd already dubbed angels. Franky and Usopp were putting on a show in the middle of the party, dancing and striking poses while stuffing their mouths with food.

Luffy, Chopper and Robin had already managed to wander off somewhere, because they clearly weren't inside the pub anymore.

"They probably got distracted somewhere else," Nami speculated to Zoro. "These people are just chucking us into their celebration. You'd think Luffy would learn by now. I mean, what if this is a repeat of Whiskey Peak?" She was already on her third beer as she threw it back with a brash gulp.

Zoro merely smirked, nodding, before competitively swinging back his mug. He gasped before responding: "Let him have his fun."

A tall, slender lady with white lashes, blonde hair and flushed cheeks, one of the carolers, approached Sanji and stroked under his chin. His heart pounded when she released, her crystal blue eyes peering into his as she inquired.

"Are you taking the Lucid Walk tonight?"

Zoro glanced back at the cook, who was clearly being entertained by some blonde bimbo. He huffed and turned around. That fucking idiot only thought with his dick. His hand clenched around the handle of his mug as the bartender walked over.

Sanji stared at her dazedly. "I will! I mean, if a heavenly lady such as yourself will come with me, of course I will! But... what's this walk?"

The woman laughed, placing a warm hand to Sanji's cheek. He nearly fainted. Her elegantly thin lips formed into a tight circle as she shook her head.

"No, no, no. You take the Lucid Walk alone, sweet man."

"Alone? Why alone?"

"Because your innermost desires come to light when you take this walk. And sometimes what you see can bring about... embarrassing results." She gave a mirthful chuckle and glanced downwards at his pants.

Oh. _Oh._ Well, he was rather sad that he couldn't bring the lovely lady with him, but if _this_ was the kind of thing she was talking about, he would much rather stay a gentleman in her eyes and go alone.

"It's not always this way. But we say here that the Lucid Walk is always better as a lone experience, no matter what you end up seeing."

"Excuse me for asking, but what do you mean 'see'? What sort of things happen when you go?"

"The lights of the forest. Haven't you heard of them already? They show you what you want to see, but they don't give you fantasies. They give you what you want. Always."

Sanji's lips parted as he took in a steady breath.

The bartender, a lengthy, slender man with feathery chestnut hair, grey eyes and freckles, leaned over on the counter as he scrubbed a whiskey glass dry. "Another round, yeah?" he assumed, looking between Zoro and Nami.

They both slid their mugs over to him and he smirked, collecting them both by the handle. As he pulled the tabs and beer rushed and fizzled into the mugs, he couldn't help slipping into their conversation about their absent friends.

"Someone in here probably told them about the Lucid Walk, you know," he explained. "Your friends."

"Lucid Walk?" Nami repeated, transfixed.

"Yeah," the bartender replied. "You haven't heard about it yet? People come here from all over to see it." His eyes fleeted over as he saw their swirly-browed friend put on his jacket and stalk over to the door. "Your blond friend there, too. He's probably just found out."

Zoro and Nami craned their necks to watch Sanji disappear beyond the door on his own, curious as he'd left that pretty blonde woman behind. Whatever this event was, it must have been good to derail Sanji from wooing girls. And even Zoro could say he was now genuinely intrigued.

"What is it?" Zoro asked.

"Every year on this last week of December, there's a natural phenomenon of floating lights in our forests. It happens to coincide with a religious holiday in North Blue, so we've kind of copied some of their traditions to make a big spectacle out of it. But the main event is in the forests. We celebrate it because it's not only amazing to see, but these lights... it's incredible. If you can get close enough to one, it'll show you what you want to see. Or sometimes, it'll show you things you never even knew you wanted."

Nami's eyes widened, while Zoro's narrowed.

"So it'll show you your desires? Like a fantasy?"

"Kind of like a fantasy, but very true to the heart. It's like it illuminates your desires, no matter how secret or hidden."

Zoro scoffed. This sounded like hogwash to him. Go figure the idiot cook had been quick to rush out. The guy was always so eager to believe in bullshit. "Can't you just use your own imagination for that?"

"Sure. But I guarantee it'll never be as vivid or as real as this. After you go under, you could swear it was real."

"Wow," Nami said in awe.

"So, what?" Zoro asked dully, peering at Nami. "You gonna go?"

"Me?" the redhead said, pointing to herself. "No way. I'm not about to go wandering off into a forest by myself at _night _to get forced into some kind of trance. No thanks. And besides, two things: I'm here to babysit you and outdrink you into a stupor."

**. . . . . .**

At first there had been a path, gleaming at the sides from white and blue bulbs in the snow. It guided Sanji deep into the forest. There were fanciful bridges arching over frozen creeks, looking just as icy as the water below. He'd seen some drifting lights far above him, at the heights of trees, but none were close enough to reach him and they were even harder to see from his low vantage point. They definitely looked like some kind of bioluminescent phenomenon. He looked behind him every so often and noticed that the lights of the town were buried behind trees at this point.

When he noticed that there were more wispy lights floating off course, he wandered off of the path, thinking that maybe these things were afraid of the unnatural lights enlivening the path. Sanji weaved through the trees, feeling his way through the forest. It was dimly lit at first, but he could see the free lights sailing up high through branches and the strange little orbs increased in size and intensity as he pressed forward. Some of them even seemed to cleave off from one another.

"Whoa," he breathed, a hot cloud of air escaping past his lips. It was absolutely mesmerizing. These golden lights seemed to have a life of their own, drifting aimlessly, but he felt like they had a purpose. Like they were searching for something. For someone?

He reached a small clearing where he was able to move about freely without having to worry about bumping into bark. Sanji's pace slowed to a halt, the crunch of icy snow at his feet falling silent. He put his hands into his coat pockets and gazed up, watching the lights swim in the air above him. They were like winter fireflies, except much bigger and more consistently bright.

Sanji's neck grew stiff from the strain and he began to wonder how he would get close to one. Would they come to him if they were interested? How could he initiate a trip; this 'insight'?

Suddenly, three sailed down to him on their own. The trees and snow at his feet glowed golden. He stood still, waiting in fascination as they circled around him, apparently curious. As one drew close, wafting past his shoulder and spiralling around his hair, he squinted. The light was bright and when it froze in front of him, lining up with his forehead, he instinctively closed his eyes. It was so powerfully radiant.

The warmth at his forehead was stunningly noticeable against the cold winter air and Sanji blindly placed a foot behind himself. Suddenly, the warmth intensified. Not uncomfortably, but enough to let him know that it was touching his skin. And to implicitly know that you had just made contact with light was an eerie feeling.

He was instantly being slammed against a wall, and he gasped, his body now hot with absolutely no gradation in sensation. His first instinct was to open his eyes, but when he tried, all he saw was a blinding flare of light and he immediately closed them again. His fingers reached behind him, and even through his gloves he felt the grooves of bark, but that sensation was quick and fleeting, and all of a sudden he knew, he _knew_ his bare fingers were touching a solid, smooth wall.

On the Sunny. He was on the Sunny, definitely. And he was breathing hard, and his body was on fire, half-naked, and—no, he was cold again, bathed in thick clothing, a scarf, gloves, a hat, breaths coming out in fogs, nose and cheeks frost-nipped from the cold—but now his dress shirt was half torn off his body, and he was slick and sweaty and _on fire_ and somebody's rough lips were on his chest.

And it felt so good, like something he'd chained up inside of himself was being let loose, and _shit,_ it felt so_ good._

He was gone.

**. . . . . .**

"What's that, your seventh beer?" Zoro questioned.

Nami's glazed eyes stared back at Zoro and her cheeks were now visibly flushed. "Eighth," she corrected, gazing at Zoro's mug expectantly.

Zoro picked it up and swirled the swill at the bottom. "Ninth," he said before downing the remains of it. He signalled the bartender for a refill.

"Bartender, gimme two more over here!" Nami called, letting her arm fall down ungracefully. "I'll catch up."

"You sure I'll let you?" Zoro said with a cocksure grin, curling his hand around a fresh beer.

She gave him a competitive glare, throwing her mug back and draining the remaining half of her mug. Then she latched onto the next beer before the bartender even got a proper chance to set it down onto the coaster.

"Hmm," she hummed. "I wonder what those guys are seeing right now."

Zoro knew what she was referring to. He shrugged. "Couldn't say." Well, there was one obvious answer. "The cook's seeing something perverted, I'm sure. Probably featuring you and Robin."

Nami rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, that goes without saying." She scowled as she thought about it. "I'm definitely charging him."

Zoro laughed shortly. "How much?"

She rubbed her fingertips together and smiled catlike. "It'll be pricy."

**. . . . . .**

Lips dragged down his chest, stopping at his nipple and a wet tongue swirled around it. Sanji breathed, looked down and saw a familiar head of green hair. He couldn't seem to remember how this had all gone down, how it was that Zoro was currently pinning him to the wall in the galley with his mouth on his chest and a bold grip over his crotch, but all that mattered was how much he wanted this right now.

He wanted Zoro so bad.

And he ignored how wrong he knew it was; how much he knew it would pick away at his brain later. He shoved that all aside because this was a _need_. He didn't know why it was a need, what it was that stirred this up inside of him or why he was being thrown into this desperate sensation, but it just fucking _was_ and he was going with it. Fuck it all.

Zoro's mouth travelled back up, fervently kissing over his collar bone and onto his neck and jawline, before settling onto his lips. Zoro kissed him deeply, madly; teeth clacking with no regard for tenderness, just a thirst for pure, raw power. Sanji fought back with his mouth just as feistily, treating this clash of tongues and lips and saliva not much differently than their usual skirmishes.

His cock was already rigid from the pressure and attention of Zoro's grinding palm and the swordsman dug it out from his pants. Sanji groaned when he felt that burning, sensitive skin reach open air.

Lips to his ear now, and words spoken in a raspy, deep rumble: "How long have you wanted this, you sexy fucking cook? Huh?"

Sanji was quick to respond, reaching down into Zoro's pants, aggressive and impassioned. He grabbed Zoro's semi-hard dick and vehemently stroked it fully awake. Zoro gasped into his ear, apparently shocked at the brash intrusion. Sanji simply chuckled provocatively.

He never knew he could want Zoro this bad.

"A long fucking time, I think."

**. . . . . .**

Nami threw back her tenth beer. She slammed it down with a gasp, then a burp.

"If only the cook could see you now."

"What's 'dat supposed to mean?" the intoxicated navigator asked defensively.

Zoro's grin was crooked. "I dunno what he's jerking off to now, but it sure as hell isn't you sitting here, drunk out of your mind burping like a sixty year old man. So unladylike."

"Ahh, fuck 'im. If that's too 'unladylike' for him, he's an idiot. Though he's an idiot anyway."

Zoro almost spit out his drink laughing. "I _definitely_ like you like this."

"I'm here all night," Nami stuck her hands out, palm up, like she was closing off a performance. Then she whimsically demanded: "What the fuck do _you_ want, anyway?" She poked the side of his head. "Got any secret desires bottled up in there? Or do fun things like that short circuit your brain?"

Zoro shot a menacing glare at her, before looking away. It wasn't like he consciously thought about these kinds of things. "I don't want anything."

"Oh, come _on. _There must be _something_, hard-ass," Nami pressed. "What about your dream? Doesn't that count?"

"That's more like a reality."

"Zoro, you know, you've said a lot of conceited things, but I think that takes the cake."

"You know what I mean. Either I slice my way to the top or I don't."

"I don't know about that. You're just saying that to avoid an answer. You want to be the greatest swordsman in the world, don't you? That _is_ what you're fighting for, isn't it? How could you not admit to wanting it?" Nami rationalized.

Zoro leaned over on the heavy wood counter with his elbow, dragging his fingers across his eyebrow. "Fine," he admitted. Keeping that promise was definitely something he fought for; something that he strived for. "Yeah, I want it."

Nami curved over on her elbow as well, palm supporting chin as she watched Zoro carefully with a knowing smirk. Her delicate fingers bloomed over rosy cheeks and she reinforced: "Then that's a desire."

**. . . . . .**

"Fuck, Zoro!" Sanji cursed lowly, wildly growling and planting teeth and tongue onto Zoro's neck like an animal. Zoro moaned under his breath and it only seemed to make Sanji's dick impossibly harder.

His cock was bursting with electrifying sensations as Zoro squeezed and grinded their erections together. The cadence between them was naturally rough and hot as he was knocked back against the wall again, separating him from Zoro's neck. His head faced the ceiling, leaving his own neck open and vulnerable for the swordsman's attack.

Teeth gnarling against the skin of Sanji's neck, Zoro seemed all too excited to touch his body with his hands as he frantically took one of Sanji's wrists and plastered it to the wall while kneading his other palm up Sanji's torso. This left their overstrung arousals devoid of attention and so Sanji provided a quick remedy to this, using his free hand to grab them and desperately stroke.

He released a low rumble under his breath as his fervent strokes combined with the sensation of his nipple being rapaciously toyed with.

"You're a greedy fucking bastard," Sanji provoked huskily.

Zoro's tongue separated wetly from Sanji's jaw. He frantically panted hot breaths onto Sanji's moist skin as he retorted, "And you fucking _love_ it."

"Asshole," Sanji said, half-whining as he approached his peak. He heaved and gasped, completely losing control as his legs trembled from his forthcoming release. "Fucking _asshole_ – ah, _fuck!_ Mmm!" He sucked his lips in, slickening them with his tongue while bucking his hips back and forth. He was coming and he was going to come _hard._

_Zoro! Fuck, Zoro...!_

Sanji gasped in, _loud,_ and as the gelid air shocked his trachea, it also shocked shards of reality into him. His body was so hot – _no,_ he was cold, it was cold, and he was about to come – _no_, that hadn't been real! He'd forgotten what was real; that this was real and that was a – a – some kind of _delusion_, but – and his hands on the ground clenched into snow, not tanned skin, and he felt the uneven grooves of bark behind his back, not a flat wall – not in the galley.

He opened his eyes and saw a diminishing golden glow. The curious little ball of light was retreating back up into the naked trees. This was where he was, not on the Sunny, not with Zoro, not doing... not doing _that._

Sanji shakily rose to his feet, using the tree as his mainstay.

"Shit..."

He stared up at those floating orbs of light, fascinated yet tormented by them. They were maddeningly beautiful. Maddeningly so because they had left him with something torturous. He didn't know whether to hate them or admire their beauty.

What the fuck had he just seen? In what dimension could he and the shitty swordsman ever... _ever _mess around like that? In what world did they want to fuck each other? Or was it only Sanji who wanted it?

What the _hell!_

"_They give you what you want. Always."_

"I don't fucking want that..." he vehemently denied as he walked. "I don't fucking want that..."

It was easy to ignore what the people of this island knew; easy to believe that these strange, floating lights of the forest gave him a delusion; were fucking with him. It was satisfying to believe this. It brought him a morsel of peace amidst the calamity of his mind.

But what disturbed him and made him livid; what was causing the chaos in his mind was the fact that as he walked forward, he was tight in his pants. And he didn't know anymore whether he was being tortured by the light's display or aroused.

Zoro's lips on his neck, hot breaths on his skin and his hands on him, all over him, in ways in which Sanji had never imagined, could never have imagined. He didn't know anymore if it was fantasy—a simple delusion—or a deeply hidden desire within himself.

But he'd liked it in the vision. In the vision, he'd wanted it like he craved nothing else. Admitting this enraged him so fiercely that he had to will himself not to kick out and slam a tree down.

"_Fuck!"_ he cried.

Sanji stopped in his tracks for a moment, his vile erection becoming too uncomfortable to walk with, not to mention humiliating. He checked around, making sure no one was in the vicinity, before settling in behind a tree to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants.

Of course he wasn't going to jack off after seeing such a nightmarish vision. And even if he wanted to, the cold air would complicate the deed more than it was worth. So he let his arousal peek nakedly out of his pants, wincing as the hypersensitive skin met with frigid air, and waited for his problem to recede.

When it did, Sanji tucked himself back into his trousers and stalked off in the snow, heading for the glimmers of white and blue light from the path ahead. He didn't spare a second glance behind him at the golden wisps swimming through the branches. He didn't want to.

Sanji had faced many dangerous situations and circumstances worthy of his fear along his journey with the crew, but the thought—no, the reality that _this_ might be sealed away inside of himself was, in all sincerity, _terrifying._

**. . . . . .**

"Isn't there anything else you want?" Nami stubbornly continued to pick away at Zoro's brain. Sometimes she didn't know whether or not he was an enigma or simply bullheaded. It was something she'd always wondered about him and right now she was too drunk to restrain her curiosity.

"Unlike you, another beer," Zoro responded, egging her on with a cheeky wave of his eleventh mug, drained to droplets.

Nami watched those droplets swirl around at the bottom of the glass and snarled, animatedly waving the bartender over for her eleventh refill. "So, booze. You like booze. I already know that. But do you _desire_ booze?"

Zoro paused with his lips on glass. He almost laughed. What was her deal? "Call it what you want, I just like the stuff."

"Hmm," she mumbled. "I get the impression – you know? – that there's more to you than all this straightforward nonsense. You've got a whole other world going on in there." Nami bent in and pointed to his head. "I'd bet all your debt on it."

"Ooh, now _that's_ interesting," Zoro perked up. "What are you betting on?"

Nami chuckled and gauged him properly for a reaction as she spoke. "I think you've got a big secret that makes you feel small. Something that goes against all your realistic views and bravado."

"And what might that secret be?" he challenged, silently affected by her insight.

Nami watched him closely. She had a feeling she knew. She had a feeling she'd known for a while, but she couldn't be sure. There was something about the way those two morons acted around each other, strikingly loud yet silent, that caused her to believe there was more to it than met the eye. She didn't know how deep this secret of theirs went, how far the desire travelled, but she knew it was there.

"I don't know yet," she said with a faint smile. "But something's there, something big. I'd bet on it."

Zoro's gaze went to the aurulent liquid in his glass and he watched his distorted reflection. She might be right. That pang he'd felt brought about by envy when he heard that blonde woman singing behind him; remembering her coquetry with the cook. That stringent aggravation that was brewing within him since the cook had stepped foot out that door. That tincture of melancholy when his mind sifted through all of the possibilities of what Sanji could be seeing at this moment in time.

"There might be a thing or two," he finally returned. "But even if you retract all my debt, you're not gonna find out."

Nami smiled, shaking her head as she laughed. Typical of him. "Good," she said impishly, laying her head down into her arms on the counter, bowing out. She was done for the night. "Winner takes care of the tab."

Zoro gawked at her, fully aware that he really shouldn't be all that surprised. "You witch."

**. . . . . .**

**AN:** That was kind of unsatisfying. Sorry about that.


End file.
